Harare, 4 october 2008 (allAfrica) - She is young and very striking. That type of girl that would give most of my male colleagues' ideas; if she ever looked their way. She is very pretty, what my male colleagues term the "typical African queen." However when you look deeply into her eyes, you can tell she is sad.
But what would make such a pretty and young lady sad? Mutsa (not her real name) is living with HIV. It is not that knowledge however that is responsible for the sadness that surrounds her very being.It is anger and a sense of betrayal.
Anger and betrayal, that she feels towards her former lover, a medical doctor, who she says infected her with HIV.
When Mutsa got in touch with me about her story, I felt very betrayed on her behalf.
There she was, going out with a medical doctor, someone who has all the knowledge about HIV transmission. This was the first man she had ever been with and he had the nerve to infect her with HIV, I felt.
But then, I began to wonder!
Did he even know that he was HIV positive?
Yes, he may have slept with other women before or besides Mutsa but this does not mean he knew his status and therefore willingly infected his girlfriend.
And why did Mutsa have unprotected sex with him when she did not know his status?
I am a woman; I champion the women's cause as much as I can because I sincerely believe that life has not been very kind to woman-kind.
However, I am a journalist and must look at both sides of the coin. I must be objective.
There are many women who are living angry lives unnecessarily. They are filled with so much bitterness at the fact that their husbands and partners have infected them with HIV.
This anger in some cases, is so intense that it eats up one's very passion for life.
They wish these men could just be thrown into jail for committing such heinous crimes.
Is this necessarily fair to the men in question and the women themselves?
A cursory glance shows that most women who are living with HIV blame a man for their status and this is understandable.
It is a fact that most men sleep with several women at the same time. How many women can safely say they have never been played?
Definitely not me!
But if we know we are or have been played, should we not begin to look out for ourselves?
Another interesting truth is that even women, who have had other sexual encounters before marriage, are quick to point a finger to the man when they test positive.
This is despite the fact that some of them would not have tested before entering this relationship.
Ever think for a moment that you could actually have been positive before, sisters?
If the truth be told, there are some men who have also been infected by women. But how many times do you hear people sympathising with a man?
Is this because men do admit to having been around and done that, unlike their female counterparts?
Multiple concurrent partnerships, especially the "small house" syndrome, are very popular in southern Africa and this is a documented fact.
Such partnerships have been identified as a key driver of HIV in the region.
Because men keep the majority of small houses, whenever transmission occurs, a finger is pointed at them and quite rightly so, mostly.
But what does just blaming them achieve if women do not stand up and begin to look out for themselves.
No comments:
Post a Comment